Practice Makes Perfect.

It is rare to be instantly good at something.  I have been reminded of this when I've watched my boys struggle to learn to tie their shoes, ice skate, or try to play an instrument.  In fact, I am constantly encouraging my sons that if there is anything in life that they would like to do, they need to practice, practice, practice.  “When you're not practicing, someone somewhere is . . ..”  I have heard this quote credited to everyone from Larry Bird to Bill Bradley to Ed Macauley and the bottom line is that I believe it is true.  

My older son was frustrated during his 2015-2016 basketball season because he could not make a lay-up consistently. So, he decided to spend hours repeatedly working on this same shot.  When basketball started this past winter, he was proud that his hard work paid off because he was able to consistently make his lay-ups (from both side of the hoop).   Meanwhile a 180 degree turn from that experience was his short-lived career as an axe-wielding, lead guitarist.  Although I had visions of grandeur that he would become the next Derek Trucks or John Mayer, he practiced minimally between lessons and eventually it caught up with him.  I remember his instructor “Guitar” Mike pulling me aside after one of his final lessons and stating that the one thing he could do to get better was practice and I will give you less than 10 seconds to guess how that ended.

The ability to repeat something over and over takes self-regulation.  Bruce Springsteen was recently interviewed by comedian and broadcaster Marc Maron (host of the popular WTFpodcast), and according to Timothy Bracy of Men’s Journal account of the interview, “perhaps the most important takeaway is that Springsteen, through rigorous discipline. . .has experienced fame and success . . .”.    Reading an interview with his E Street Band drummer, Max Weinberg stated that Springsteen's "modus operandi in the studio" is "to literally play things 30 or 40 times" before committing it to a recording.  

As I get older, I am finding that varying degrees of discipline are important, particularly when it comes from the crossroads of inspiration, pride and determination.  I also need to remind myself that it is never too late to learn something new.  The future is one of the only things we can change.  At the moment for me it is to be able to run multiple sections of The MotherFricker and still be able to walk up the hill to The Independent later in the day.  I just ran 8 miles and feel that I am almost there.  I will just need to get out for a number of runs before April 1. 

Thanks for reading!

Carpool Karaoke.

No matter where we are these days if Top 40 music is playing, my boys seem to know a majority of the lyrics to the songs.  The list of artists seems endless, Alessia Cara; Charlie Pugh; Gavin (DeGraw for those not in the know) and I never thought I would become familiar with all of their names, let alone their songs.  But some of my favorite moments these days are traveling in a car and looking in the rear-view mirror and seeing and hearing the boys singing along.  Most recently, this remind me of the scene from “Almost Famous” in which the band was singing Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer”, but of course minus the groupies.

Why do we remember song lyrics so easily?  According to Adam Sinicki of HealthGuidance.org, "Clearly our brains are somehow wired to be especially good at remembering music lyrics. . .most of us have the lyrics to hundreds if not thousands of songs stored in our brains. . .”  I can certainly remember Ms. Johnson's 2nd grade class and a few of us monopolizing the cassette player so that we could listen to "Combat Rock" over and over again as we desperately tried to memorize the lyrics to "Rock the Casbah".  At the time, my fascination with song probably had to do with the repetitive chorus: "Sharif don't like it / Rock the Casbah, rock the Casbah / Sharif don't like it / Rock the Casbah, Rock the Casbah".  I did not know that a Sharif was a Muslim religious leader and that a Casbah is an African Market, but I did know at 7 years old that I wanted to rock.

I believe one of the reasons that I recall lyrics is due to associating the lyrics with something going in my life.   These days I spend some of my downtime running in Frick Park (with multiple guys named Matt) and so many of our discussions can set off lyrics that are in my head.  We could be talking about anything from parenting to visiting with old friends and almost immediately the following songs enter my head: Ben Folds Five’s ‘Philosophy’:  “Go ahead you laugh all you want / I got my philosophy”) or the Mighty Mighty Bosstones’ ‘Toxic Toast’:  “Queensbury Number Eight / Hell Hotel punk rock estate. / Way way back in the day. / One hundred years it seems that way.”  And now there is Ed Sheeran’s ‘Castle on the Hill’: “We found weekend jobs, when we got paid / We'd buy cheap spirits and drink them straight”.

I do not believe that I would ever volunteer to sing these songs in public (when I have sang karaoke, it was shotgun style), but it does not change the fact that song lyrics play a large role in my everyday thoughts.  And it is somewhat comforting to now see the same thing start happening with my boys.

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Tradition.

At the beginning of the calendar year, it is not uncommon for music writers to share their predictions for who they think will become breakout stars in the year to come.  I have done this with my blog in the past, but this year I am not going to walk down that path. Instead, as I prepare to usher in 2017, I have been thinking a lot about a tradition that is becoming more and more prominent in my life.  So while some  families are still humming “Auld Lang Syne”, I am thinking of  Nas’ 2006 album “Hip Hop Is Dead” when he raps, “When they crown you - and you rise up to your position / Carry On Tradition / When they knight you - then you go to fight, go to war, don't petition / Carry On Tradition (x2) / Carry on (x2) / Carry On Tradition (x2) / when you rep what we rep / Then Carry On Tradition”.

There are all types of traditions tied to music.  One tradition that I have adopted is oral tradition, a type of musical communication wherein knowledge and culture are passed on orally from one generation to another.  The initial image in my head is of Appalachian music, front porches and fire pits.  In my home, music is a focus as the boys sit at the counter-top in our kitchen and we listen to A Tribe Called Quest’s “Can I Kick It?” or when we are playing a family game in our living room with my wife’s Pandora station playing in the background and we end up talking about the difference between the Counting Crows versus the Black Crowes.

Music traditions can also be classified into some combination of ethnic, racial, religious or geographic boundaries.  Although my paternal family hails from Belarus, we sadly did not inherit an ability for neumatic chants known as znamenny.  However, one thing we are proud of is that our house has become a meeting spot for family and friends, where music inevitably becomes the center of conversation.  We value the fact that we do not live in a traditional household.  We have 4 generations living at our house, my boys, my wife and I, my wife’s parents, and her maternal grandfather.  Although I am still waiting for the first jam session with Zaidy on guitar, my boys get to hear their maternal grandfather wax poetic on Bobby Darin and my friends' heated discussions about the jam bands of our college years.  With the wide range of ages passing thru Pittsburgh, we get an awesome cross-section of people, stories and music.

Through the tradition of music, I hope that my boys can look back at their childhood and remember a house that was often full of people, tales and music.  Maybe not exactly along the lines of Hank Williams, Jr.’s 1979 song, “Family Tradition”, but close:  “So don't ask me, Hank why do you drink? Hank, why do roll smoke? / Why must you live out the songs that you wrote? / Stop and think it over, try and put yourself in my unique position. / If I get stoned and sing all night long, it's a family tradition.”

Thank you for reading. 

Only One.

Kevin Costner’s character in the 1988 movie ‘Bull Durham’ said, "Know whatthe difference between hitting .250 and .300 is? It's 25 hits. 25 hits in 500 at bats is 50 points, okay? There's 6 months in a season, that's about 25weeks. That means if you get just one extra flare a week. . .you get a groundball with eyes. . .and you're in Yankee Stadium."  My boys play a lot of baseball and although they favor the long-ball, they also know that a single is necessary to complete the cycle and sometimes a single base hit means knocking in one more run.  

When I think of the word single, I know that it has numerous meanings, especially when it comes to music.  I recently went to see the band Judah and the Lion perform.  Attending the concert by myself, I was able to absorb a lot of what was going on around me and was excited when the band announced that they were about to play their first single, “Take it All Back”.  Although it has not yet charted on Billboard, this first song from their new album, “Folk Hop n' Roll”, further blends the musical styles of hip-hop to folk, which I believe we will be hearing more of in 2017.

I definitively favor the album format, but I can admit that I used to purchase cassette singles (aka the "cassingle") as well as CD singles to hear what I thought could be cool, alternate versions of songs.  One of my favorites from 1993 was the Beastie Boys' “So Whatcha Want” with B-Real (from Cypress Hill) rapping a verse; however, the version of “So Whatcha Want” that I am listening to in 2016 is by The Record Company.   And the album that I cannot wait to listen to from start to finish is A Tribe Called Quest’s, “We Got It from Here... Thank You 4 Your Service”, not just the song labeled “the single”.   

I found myself focusing on the word single again this past week.  Although I am happily married, I recently played the role of Michael Keaton’s Jack, from the 1983 film “Mr. Mom”.   For 8 nights and 7 days while my wife traveled internationally, I was with my boys when they woke-up, got them to school, worked on homework right after school, fed them at dinnertime, made sure that they showered and went to bed.  We would then get up and do it all over again the next day, except on the weekend when we worked in time for basketball and pinball.

As much as I enjoy doing a lot of things on my own, this past week reminded me my family has become my team.  My wife is now back safely in Pittsburgh, my boys are becoming much more reliable in helping with chores around the house and I also realize that I do not need to be the power-hitting first baseman all the time to get things done.   I can go back to my collection of music singles, listen to Del Amitri's "Learn to Cry" and remember the line, "A familiar face with a loving smile greets you every day", and think that even when I am flying solo, I am a part of a great crew.

Thanks for reading.           

Passport to Culture.

Based on multiple sociological studies, music is widely enjoyed by people from diverse backgrounds and by numerous cultures.   I find it unique that various cultural activities can bleed into music and as a result make music a welcoming part of that culture.  Patsy Cline sings in her 1958 single "Come On In (And Make Yourself At Home)":  "If I had one wish, I wish I could / Go back to my old neighborhood / Where the good folks they all love you as their own / Then I'd go over to my neighbor's house / Knock on the door 'n they'd all sing out / Come on in and sit right down and make yourself at home". 

Bon Iver sings on his new 2016 song "33 'GOD,'" “I'd be happy as hell, if you stayed for tea”.  I have been listening to this song a lot lately and upon arriving in New York City recently, the first thing I was offered by my friend/host/ was a cup of tea.  She is originally from Ireland, and I have learned that for her, having tea in the house is a top priority.  Offering the visitor a cup of tea is the backbone of Irish hospitality.  In fact, I have heard that Irish homes must never run out of either tea bags or toilet paper. 

Other countries have different, but no less important, customs.  Most Asian cultures from Vietnam to India and Singapore to Japan have deeply entrenched traditions about removing shoes before entering homes.  Although he is of Czech and Slovak lineage, Jason Mraz sings in a 2014 song, "Whatever mama say / You better listen to your mama . . .Take your shoes off at the door / Don't track no mud along that floor".   In Asian countries, the entrance to a living space is usually lower than the rest of the home. You step up into the house and this design allows for all dirty and wet gear to be left in the entrance, hence the house stays clean.  According Asian Lifestyle and Design, "this has a physical and psychological purpose: the motion of stepping up to a different level, allows one to be aware that they are entering someone’s private space".

Another way that culture and music can intersect is with spiritual song.  L'chah Dodi is a Judaic song recited Friday at sundown to welcome Shabbat prior to evening services.  It is part of the Kabbalat Shabbat ("welcoming of Sabbath").  L'chah Dodi means "come my beloved," and is a request of a mysterious "beloved" that could mean either God or one's friend(s) to join together in welcoming Shabbat that is referred to as the "bride": likrat kallah ("to greet the [Shabbat] bride"). During the singing of the last verse, the entire congregation rises and turns to the open door, to greet "Queen Shabbat" as she arrives.

There is nothing like the feeling of being comfortable either in your home or when traveling.  And if your host is willing to introduce you to the blend of South Asian samples, London slang and U.S. hip hop music of the Swet Shop Boys, featuring Heems (ex-Das Racist) and Riz MC (actor Riz Ahmed), I think you will find a way to relax and feel welcomed.

Thanks for reading.

Generation Z.

My wife always used to compare my time on the road as a booking agent/tour manager with that of my experience of being a camp counselor.  I saw some similarities with that analogy but I see many more now, as a parent of two young children.  As my boys grow older, I am experiencing more and more deja vus, and sometimes, my sons say or do things that take me right back to my days of being in and out of concert clubs.  

For example, whereas I used to coordinate the details of a show with a club and make sure that bands had clean towels in the dressing room, I am now asking my boys to wash their hands before meals and after using the bathroom.  Also on show dates, the line-up of a show determined what time sound check was and what time we had to be in the club.   In my life today, every morning, I am reviewing the boys’ homework, making sure the boys' lunches are packed and that we are out the door on schedule to get to school on time.  I also remember paying close attention to the liner notes of an album and seeing who the bands/artists would credit for making the recording possible.  This translates to my current world in the way that I remind my boys to say: “please” & “thank you”.

It does not end with everyday life, but also carries over to the conversations I have with my sons.  It just might be how my brain works, but music and lyrics are always cycling in and out of my head.  As a result, their actions and words allow me to introduce them to music from my past that is new to them.   Recently, my boys were trying to delay bed-time by walking around in circles and singing, “we’re walking in circles / we’re walking in circles”.  They did not realize that they were copping the 1998 Soul Coughing song “Circles” in which Mike Doughty sings, “need to walk around in circles, walk around in circles /Walk around in circles, walk around in.”  I immediately played them the song and they were laughing hysterically.  Or the other day when my younger son had a eureka moment about a question he had earlier in the day which led him to let out a dramatic “Ohhhhh” which quickly turned it into a chant “Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh”. Of course, he never would have realized that he was directly lifting the New Kids on the Block lyrics from the 1988 song “Right Stuff”.

For as many connections my boys and I make on a regular basis, I am learning that we are not always traveling the same path to get there.  We recently went roller-skating and while I was asking the DJ to play Deee-Lite's 1990 song "Groove Is In TheHeart" they were excited to ask for Justin Timberlake’s 2016 song “Can't Stop the Feeling”.   Thankfully the DJ played both songs and we laughed in circles all the way around the Neville Roller Drome.

Thanks for reading!

Pay It Forward.

“Now I been lookin' for a job but it's hard to find / Down here it's just winners and losers / And don't get caught on the wrong side of that line / Well I'm tired of comin' out on this losin' end / So honey last night I met this guy / And I'm gonna do a little favor for him.”  For the past 10 years, I have lived a world in which bartering has been a form of currency:  tickets for haircuts, tickets for pizza, and tickets for drinks are a few exchanges that I have been a part of in and around Pittsburgh.  But surprisingly, it was an event that I could not land tickets to in which I received a life lesson and favor.

Living in Washington DC in the mid-1990s there was no hometown baseball team to root for during the season.  If you wanted to attend a game in-person you needed to drive a car out to Bowie for the AA-Baysox (the Calvin Pickering “Cheeseburger” chant story is for another time) or you needed to take the MARC train to Baltimore which dropped you off right outside Camden Yards.

In the spring of 1995, my friends and I figured out what date/game that Cal Ripken would break Lou Gehrig’s unbelievable record of consecutive games played.  We circled September 6, 1995 on the calendar and then went our separate ways for the summer.  Upon our return from the break, every one of my friends, for a variety of excuses, backed out of the trip to Charm City and I was left to fend for myself.

The atmosphere around the stadium was electric and between the memorabilia outside and trading with fans thru the iron grate fence for memorabilia only available inside, for me it was like a Middle Eastern shook meets New Year’s Eve in Times Square.  When I realized that I would not be able to score a ticket get into the game, I grabbed myself dinner and drinks and watched on a large screen right outside of the stadium.   And then once the game became official, I made my way over to the MARC train platform only to find that I had my return train ticket, but $0 in my pocket. 

Standing and waiting with another couple, an announcement was made that the next MARC train for Washington DC would not be leaving until 1 hour after the game concluded.  Immediately the other couple that I was standing with decided that they were going to hustle to Penn Station-Baltimore to see if they could catch an Amtrak train back to Washington DC. They were surprised when I did not want to share a cab with them to the station.  I quickly explained my financial situation and the man insisted that we would sort it out at the train station.  However upon arriving at the train station, the train was boarding and the man again said we would sort out the cost of the ticket on the actual train.  When we finally found ourselves situated on the train, he explained that he did not want me to pay him back, but down the line to provide tickets to someone else at no cost for a ballgame or concert.

In the cultural circle and parking lots surrounding the Grateful Dead and their live shows, “I need a miracle” has been one of the more common pleas for a ticket to that night’s show.  I worked for a concert promoter at the time of my experience in Baltimore and very quickly my +1 the remainder of that fall would go to the person standing in line in back of me at the box office window waiting to purchase a ticket.  The look of surprise and happiness never got old and still does not.   Now working in the ticketing industry and having the opportunity to help family, friends and sometimes complete strangers reminds me of other lyrics, “What would you do if I sang out of tune / Would you stand up and walk out on me? / Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song / And I'll try not to sing out of key / Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.”

Thanks for reading.