Brothers don't shake hands, brothers hug

“Yes, no, maybe / I don't know / Can you repeat the question? / You're not the boss of me now / You're not the boss of me now / You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big”.  As They Might Be Giants faze out of the speakers, the way I remember things is that if my older brother wanted to go to an arena-sized concert, my parents would give him the greenlight if, and only if, I was allowed to tag along.   U2’s ZOO TV Tour lands in East Rutherford, NJ at Brendan Byrne Arena and there I am in the parking lot drinking 16 oz. cans of Budweiser.  While I went to the show assuming that the highlight of my night would be “Mysterious Ways”, "Angel of Harlem" was the one that blew me away.  This song was my gateway to The Memphis Horns who appeared on the studio version of this song and nearly every recording for Stax Records that included a horn section, which if you connect the dots, leads to much of my present day taste of music.

I can certainly attribute some of my tastes in music to the fact that I grew up a younger brother.  My older brother’s interest in music and his vast  collection allowed me to spend hours upon hours (when I was not sorting Jason’s collection in Mountainside) to just sift through his records, which he then replaced with cassettes and then eventually CDs (thank you Columbia House mail-order music clubs!).  In one of the few non-physical confrontational efforts to get me out of his room and to stop poking around his stuff, he would make cassette copies of the music that I expressed interest in.  I remember my copy of The Replacements “Stink” and the closing song “Gimme Noise” which could not have been any more appropriate: “I give you my jacket / You give me your glamor / Gimme that record / Gimme that hammer / Are you sleeping / Are you sleeping /Brother John”.

All of these moments have led to my musical preferences in 2020.  A harmonious stew that even cookbook author Adeena Sussman would envy.  I learned to read the liner notes, lyrics and who played what on each track.  And learning the names of the players and the instruments took me further down the path of discovering what I seek out and listen to now: a lot of New Orleans brass, rhythmic vocals and the occasional piano or organ solo.  So even though my brother will be the first to testify that the majority of the music I listen to now is questionable, music is not just beautiful in the eye of the beholder, but who sits in the shotgun seat of the ’82 Pontiac.

My brother turns 48 tomorrow and we do not see each other nearly as often as we did when we were both on the East Coast. However, when we do connect, it is not strange for the conversation to focus on what we have been listening to or what live show we have seen recently.   And although I do not know the next time I will see my brother, let alone attend a concert together, I will continue to listen to music with a set of younger brother ears and look forward to the next time we can have a beer before heading to see live music.

Thanks for reading.

Like a bridge over troubled water

According to the web site Mental Health Connecticut, “Social isolation has been linked to higher blood pressure and cardiovascular disease, vulnerability to infection. . . .  Loneliness can affect your mental and emotional health as well as your physical well-being.”  Musicians have also weighed in on this same subject. Fiona Apple once stated that, “When you're surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you're by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don't feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you're really alone.”  And even though I am lovingly surrounded by my wife and two sons, we are all battling the effects that this global pandemic is having on our daily lives – online learning and working from home. To cope with this stress, my wife turns to running on the treadmill, my boys like their video games and playing outdoor basketball, and for me it always seems to in one-way or another lean towards music.

Music is my happy space.  However, I have recently learned that, “Musicians are three times more likely to experience depression” (study completed by University of Westminster, London, UK).  The research surveyed 2,211 musicians, and over 68% stated they had struggled with depression.   This led me to ask myself, do all performers need to experience some sort of heartbreaking event to be able to create the songs that become the soundtrack of our lives?  My dear friend (and cousin) Jason and I have now been going back and forth for the past 48 hours with what seems like endless song titles (a lot of them with lyrics to match) that could be ripped from today’s headlines. 

Who knew that the Guns N' Roses song “Out ta Get Me” from their groundbreaking 1987 album “Appetite for Destruction” would carry so much weight in today’s unprecedented times:  “Been hidin' out / And layin' low / It's nothing new ta me / Well you can always find a place to go / If you can keep your sanity”.  Of course, there is more:  “Isolation” from Joy Division, "Armageddon's Back In Town" by the Drive-By-Truckers or "Don't Come Around Here No More" by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers: “Don't come around here no more / Whatever you're looking for / Hey! Don't come around here no more / I've given up, stop”.

It is surreal to think that this is where we find ourselves in March 2020.  Nathaniel Rateliff at the Byham Theater – postponed, my trip to New Orleans for French Quarter Fest – postponed, The Rolling Stones NO FILTER tour – postponed.  There are now a lot of red question marks and Xs on my calendar where live music once occupied a spot.  Despite its absence, I still find myself relying on music in this extraordinary era and to a certain extent leaning on a band that encompasses popular music mythology. Although the Beatles can seem larger than life, sometimes it is their grounded lyrics that can bring us to safety: “And when the broken hearted people / Living in the world agree / There will be an answer, let it be. / For though they may be parted there is / Still a chance that they will see / There will be an answer, let it be / Let it be, let it be. Yeah / There will be an answer, let it be.”

Thanks for reading!